


In Another Life

by ongsco



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: M/M, idk what im doing, it's my first time, kinda angst, sorry - Freeform, title is irrelevant btw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2018-04-03
Packaged: 2019-04-17 22:25:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14198961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ongsco/pseuds/ongsco
Summary: In which Daniel has a huge ass crush on Seongwu but Seongwu doesn't reciprocate Daniel's feelings.





	In Another Life

2 years. It's been 2 whole years. 820 days. I've been crushing on him for two whole years. Yet, he still doesn't feel the same way. 

Which is why, I've decided. I'm going to get over him. Who needs him anyways? There are many more guys for me to fall in love with. Starting today, I am going to stop loving him. 

"Yah, Niel!" 

Oh, there he comes. With that pretty face of his and mesmerising moles and luscious lips and –no, no I'm getting over him. Yes, yes, I'm getting over him. Okay Daniel, you've got this. Just... walk away. Yes, walk away, pretend you can't hear him. Yes, goo-

"Yah! Kang Euigeon!" 

Jesus, does he not take the fucking hint. I can't walk away now, he'll realize I'm ignoring him. He may be called Ong-Cheongie but he's not that dumb. I turn around with the most natural smile I can muster. 

"What the heck is wrong with your face? You look like you're holding in your–oh shit, sorry, did you need to go to the toilet? Fuck, sorry man just go if you need to go!"

Wow okay Mr. Actor. Just because you can act doesn't mean you have to shame everyone else who can't. Oh right, I need to respond.

"Uhm, yeah sorry gotta go bye!" With that, I ran away. 

Once I got into a cubicle, I gave myself a pat on the back. You did good Daniel. Good job. Just keep doing it for the rest of your life and you might actually be able to get over him! I sighed, putting my head in my hands. Who am I kidding? I can't get over him! God, I didn't think this through. No, it's fine I can do this. Right? Whatever. Who cares. I'm going to be late for class, screw you Ong Seongwu. (I wish)

-

A week has passed. I purposely avoid him now. I know his schedule so well that I am able to arrange my schedule around his so that we won't meet or even if we do, one of us will have to rush off and won't get past a "Hello" It's not the best solution but it works. And that's all that matters. I can't continue pining after someone who won't even love me back right? It's not even a matter of whether he's gay or not. He is in fact, extremely gay. He just doesn't see me as someone he can love romantically. 

The whole scheme worked–until I stupidly didn't pack my own food from home to eat during lunch and was forced to go to the canteen to get some food or I'd die or starvation. Can't have this amazing, handsome man dying, can we? Anyways, lunch. Of course, Ong fucking Seongwu was there. Of course, he had to notice me and call me over. Of course, he was eating alone–we always eat together. Seeing him eating alone actually made me feel bad. Bad enough for me to actually approach him. 

"Hey there stranger, seems like ages since we've last properly talked. How come you're never around anymore? Why haven't you been eating lunch?" 

I couldn't look at him. Refused to look at him. Suddenly I felt a finger jab my sides.

"Ow! What the hell man!" that was me.  
"You weren't answering so I thought you had died inside" that was Seongwu.

Do I just tell him? Tell him how I'm so, so tired of chasing after him. How all I want is just for him to love me back. How I want him to hold me whenever I'm having a bad day. How I'm now trying so hard to get over him but can't because I'm in too deep. Too deep in this pit of love. Too deep to clamber out of it without injury. Too deep for anyone to hear my shouts of help. 

"Niel?" his voice broke my thoughts. So soft, so comforting. 

I simply shook my head. Willing my tears to fall back into my tear glands. Yes, he's seen me cry plenty of times. But this, this is different. Now, I'm crying because of him. Because of me. Because of how foolish I was to have ever thought someone like him could ever love me. I felt his face close to mine and without saying a word, I stood up and walked off. Screw lunch, I'll just die of hunger and love. Maybe then I'll get over him. 

-

It's been a month since the incident in the canteen and now we pass by each other without a smile. Everyone's been asking me why. 

"Niel-ah why are you and Ong so distant these past few days? Did something happen?" Jisung asked me one day. I shook my head mumbling "nothing happened". I felt the couch sink next to me, indicating that he had sat down. He put an arm around me and pulled me to his chest. That was enough to get me sobbing like a baby. He simply stroked my hair telling me It's Okay repeatedly and humming soothing tunes. After I've finally calmed down, he sat me up and gave me tissues. 

"Niel-ah, I think I know what's happening. Seongwu doesn't feel the same way you do towards him and you're trying to get over him by avoiding him completely." 

I didn't respond, which he took as an indication to continue.

"Though you may think it will work, it won't. Trust me. It may work for a little while but the moment you see him, you will feel crushed, as if your whole world just crumbled infront of you. You will feel as if your world just disappeared, because he was and still is your world."

I finally looked up. Jisung gave me a pitying smile and left. Not without telling me to think about it. Which I did. 

-

I knocked on the door, anxiety bubbling in me. I knocked once, twice and finally a third time before I decided to just leave, maybe he's out. Just as I was leaving, he came trudging down the corridor. Feet shuffling. He didn't even notice I was there until he was searching for his keys. 

"Niel?" he looked up, hair disheveled, eyes looking like they've just seen and gone through a war. "Come in" he said.

I took my shoes off and went in. Nothing really changed in the weeks I haven't been in here. Just–more dirty dishes, clothes lying everywhere and, ohmygod is that ramyeon that has gone bad? Jesus. 

"So, um. I came here because I'd like to um apologise. For um, avoiding you the last uh month? Sorry." 

He stared at me. "Are you not going to explain why the fuck you decided to avoid me? Because if I remember correctly, I did nothing wrong?" Oh, he's mad. Fuck, he's mad. Okay wait that's hot but his anger is directed to me so–not so hot.

"Right um, about that. It's just um it's been 2 years I've told you I liked you as a man. Um and everytime I ask, you say that uhm you don't feel the same way. Me avoiding you was just uh my way of getting over uh you? yeah." My face was warm. I could tell I was as red as the bad ramyeon. 

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I looked up.  
"You avoided me because you wanted to get over me? I worried for days on end because I thought I had said something wrong only to find out it was your way of getting over me? Dude, that's fucking pathetic."

What? I did not come all this way (3 floors is a long way to go even by elevators) just to be called pathetic. What does he know anyways? He's never loved a person before. He's never felt rejection before. 

"You never had to feel rejection. Rejection for two years. How fucking dare you call me pathetic. You never had to carry a heavy hurt around your best friend because you loved him but he doesn't love you back. You never had to answer people embarrassingly with a no we are not dating because they thought we were. You never had to look at the person you love, go after someone else. You never had to see the one you love leave you mid-conversation because they wanted to talk to the cute guy at the second table." I stopped as tears threatened to fall. This wasn't the plan. I was just supposed to apologise and go and maybe everything will go back as it was again.

"Niel-ah..."

"No, hyung, listen to what I have to say first. You never experienced any of this. While I on the other hand, had to suffer. I had to watch you go on and on about this guy you think is so amazing. You know what? If anyone is pathetic, it's you. You're the one who keeps changing partners. You're the one who can't keep a stable relationship for at least 2 weeks. I may not have a relationship, but at least I never jumped from one person to another." I finished, breathless from all the words I said in one go and from the tears that fell anyways. I looked at Seongwu. He had his head down and he was fidgeting with his sweater.  
Maybe I should make the move. Maybe I should do it. Just do it! My head screams. Before I could stop myself, I walked to him, grabbed him by the collar and kissed him. He didn't kiss back, obviously. 

"I sincerely hope you'll be happy in the future."

And with that, I walked out. Walked out of his house, and his life.

**Author's Note:**

> so that's that,,,, it may or may not be based in my actual life ;> except the last part probably,, aNYWAYS it's my first fic so please go easy on me!!  
> kudos and comments are appreciated hehe


End file.
